you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
