You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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