Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
