Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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