North Korea, Best Korea!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
