i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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