She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
