DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
