she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
