my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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