I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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