Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
