And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
