never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
