I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
