he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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