allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
