You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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