If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
