you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
