Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We had to coat check the pizza.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
