I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
