What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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