Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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