so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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