i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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