fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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