I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
