And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
