He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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