In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
