so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
