He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
