But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
