Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
