When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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