Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
