there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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