Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
