Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
