My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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