just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
