Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
