I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
