i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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