I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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