white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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