if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
