can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It all started with a game of naked twister.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
