if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
