she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There r osticjed everywhere
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
